Without You
by Kelly Mc
Summary: This is set after season four and was written when only a few spoilers were out. Does contain some spoilers for season four so please do not read if you haven't seen season four!
1. Chapter 1

Without You Part One

_"Mary! Please wait!" He screamed._

The searing heat made it hard to breath but she made it to her car before Danny could catch up.

"I'll figure this out. Don't go!" he smacked his hand on the glass of her car door, trying in vain to stop her but she already had the key in the ignition. She jammed the car into reverse and squealed out of the garage ignoring Danny's cries to stop.

Four months later….

Danny sat on the edge of his bed feeling his eyes burn as he read the letter for the hundredth time. It was all he had left of her and when he was feeling lost he would read her beautiful words and remember their last night together.

The night had started when he had gone to stop her from killing her father, neither knowing Frank had done the job himself. When they had both approached his car, guns drawn, the horrifying scene that greeted them sent Mary straight into his arms and ultimately into his bed. Since her father's trial he had spent a lot of time with the beautiful redhead and old feelings quickly resurfaced. When he had gone to Mike for advice his friend spilled the beans about Mary's true feelings.

He had just broken up with Delinda the day before over her 'misrepresentations' and his desire to be with Mary. Delinda had tried to talk to him all day but when he finally gave her a moment he had spent it questioning her about Mary. Danny's disinterest in what she needed to tell him and her jealousy over Mary had sent her into what Danny now knows was a hormonal rage. During the infamous confrontation she had admitted everything from knowing Mary's feelings about him to rubbing it in that she knew her father was keeping their apartment under surveillance. He still hadn't forgiven the man he thought of like a father for his lack of trust and faith in him. Delinda knew how hurt and violated he had felt and used that against him.

Danny gently folded the letter when he heard Delinda's footfalls on the soft carpet. Mary had made him promise that he would try. Try to be the man who could live with the consequences of his actions no matter how heart wrenching it was.

"It's her birthday," she offered quietly.

Danny barely acknowledged her statement with a slight nod before getting up off the bed.

"I'll be late." Danny paused in the doorway and kissed her on the temple.

Delinda watched him walk down the hall, dressed in jeans, t-shirt and work boots. She longed for the days when he would hold her in his arms and make love to her. Delinda thought back over the past months trying to decide where to go from here.

Pregnancy had become like a truth serum for Delinda and she cringed remembering the day Danny learned he may not be the father of her baby. They had been at her parents for a family dinner; the weeks of living with a man who could barely look at her let alone touch her had taken its toll. Her parents had offered to build them a dream home just as they had planned for her and Derek. When Danny rejected the idea Delinda had gone off on another hormone-induced rant. Before she could stop herself she had screamed at him that he might not be the father of her baby. Crying hysterically she tried to take back the words but it was too late. The worst part was the look on Danny's face when he discovered Jillian and Ed had both been aware of the possibility. Danny had been so hurt by their betrayal and in that moment all three Delines knew the facade of being one big happy family was over.

Danny had left only to return two days later, never mentioning the incident. They continued living together, almost as strangers. The baby talk quieted around him and there was no longer any pressure for marriage or his return to the Montecito. No more complaints that he wasn't trying hard enough to bond with the baby. Life had gotten a little easier as he became numb to anyone and everything around him. Danny acted like an outsider in his own life, resigned to a future that held little hope. He was aloof but polite to her parents and Delinda knew he was only with her trapped by his sense of duty.

--- 

An hour later Danny sat at his desk inside the trailer parked at the construction site. He rubbed his eyes wishing the nagging headache would go away. When the pain first started he had almost enjoyed feeling something — anything- but now it was just making it difficult to concentrate on the blueprints before him.

Sometimes when he became overwhelmed with his life he would close his eyes and dream of Mary, of a future that would never be. He would picture them together as a family, what their children would look like. Even though she was gone now she was still giving him comfort.

He closed his eyes and let his mind drift back to his last night with her. After making love the two had spoken freely for the first time about the past and what had happened to them. They were brutally honest with each other having nothing to lose and everything to gain. He had felt so loved and for the first time in his life he did not try to protect himself in any way. Danny remembered the tears of joy, regret and even anger from that night but took comfort in the love they still felt for each other.

In the weeks that preceded that fateful night Danny had become disillusioned with Ed as well as Delinda. The sun was just beginning to come up when they had finally fallen asleep in each other's arms. Lying with Mary he felt like he was home again. The memory of that night, of their love, would have to sustain him for the years to come.

When the trailer door opened Danny was surprised to see the leggy blonde with the protruding tummy walk in. Looking at her with reproach, he noted her blotchy face and swollen eyes. She had obviously been crying but the determined look on her face indicated she had regrouped from the latest crying jag.

"Here." Delinda said solemnly.

"What's this?" Danny took the paper warily.

"It's your get out of jail free card." 


	2. Chapter 2

Part Two

Danny furrowed his brows and looked at the paper curiously. His eyes grew wide and his stomach did a flip-flop as he finished scanning the results of the amniocentesis. He swallowed hard and looked at Delinda speechless.

"You're not the father."

"How- how long have you known?" Danny choked out.

"Just since yesterday." Delinda hedged. She had prayed she was wrong but in her heart she had always known the baby wasn't his. They had always been careful but her single tryst with Asad had been tempestuous and careless. Several moments passed while Delinda watched Danny process the news and it's implications.

"You should go to her." She said with quiet encouragement.

Danny stared at the door feeling a weight lift from his shoulders; thoughts of Mary flooded his mind and his heart. He stood up to leave but stopped, turning slightly toward Delinda.

"I'll be okay," Delinda smiled assuredly, amazed that he could give her any consideration at this point. He searched her face for a moment and saw the strength and determination that had been missing for so long and smiled.

"Go, get out of here." She pushed him playfully and the goofy grin he gave her had them both laughing together for the first time in months.

When Delinda heard the door close behind him she sank down onto the chair Danny had just occupied. Placing a hand on her 6 months pregnant belly she took a deep cleansing breath. With her conscience lifted she could look to the future with the hope of finding happiness for her and her child. Delinda reached for the phone, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

Outside the trailer Danny hit the ground running. Whipping out his cell phone he dialed the one person who would be able to help him the fastest.

"Hey Mike, it's Danny. I know it's been awhile……"

----

Mary pulled her favorite stationary out of the cabinet intent on writing Sam a letter of encouragement. She had taken the day off from her job managing a moderate sized resort and spa on the south side of Lake Tahoe. Mary planned to spend her birthday at her favorite place- the dance studio, but first she needed to write Sam. Then she would leave her small rented home for the old building that housed the dance studio where she volunteered 2 evenings a week.

As she addressed the envelope to Austin, Texas she laughed at her recent conversation with Sam. The petite brunet's morning sickness had just begun and she wasn't dealing with it too well. A Sam who could not enjoy her food made for one ornery girl but Jeremy seemed to be taking it all in stride. A smile tugged at her lips imagining her friend with a cute little bump but it soon faded when she remembered the last time she had used the stationary.

She had begged him not to find her. As much as she loved him she couldn't stay and watch his child grow inside of another woman. His relationship with Delinda and sense of duty to her and their child would always come between them. Mary knew he would offer to play the weekend father to be with her but Mary couldn't let him do it. He had a chance to give his child something they had both longed for but never had - two parents who loved him. Mary had found peace in knowing Danny loved her the way she had always loved him but it still wasn't meant to be. The memory of that night and Danny's love would have to be enough.

---- 

Mike walked into the condo and found Danny in his bedroom frantically shoving clothes in a bag. When he saw Mike he rushed toward him, grabbing the paper he held out for him.

"I should have known" he smiled looking at the contact information. They had gone to Tahoe several times as kids. During their night together Mary had softly wept as she recalled nights she dreamt they had fled to Tahoe like he had wanted to the night he returned from his deployment. At the time she thought refusing to run away with him was the right thing to do but looking back at the painful years apart she wasn't so sure. Danny had pulled her closer and assured her they would be together from now on.

"Good luck, buddy." Mike gave Danny a hopeful smile as his friend grabbed his bag off the bed. Mike was a little surprised when Danny gave him a quick hug before he rushed out the door. Mike's smile grew wider seeing his friend show some kind of positive emotion for the first time since she had left.

----

The furniture in the small office was old and worn but she preferred it to her modern office at her day job. This office had character, it had heart and she loved everything about the old building from the tall ornate windows to the scuffed hardwood floors.

Usually this place gave her some solace against the loneliness and longing for him but she felt no comfort inside the old plaster walls today. She tried so hard to put the past behind her but today memories of Danny followed her everywhere she went. Mary wrapped her arms tight around herself trying to remember what it felt like to be in his arms. Instead, only thoughts of the morning after their night together engulfed her.

Mike had phoned Mary's place and told them Danny's friend Jason was holding Delinda hostage. They had rushed to the casino, hand in hand. By the time they arrived the crisis was over and Delinda was safe. Relief had temporarily flooded them until Jillian rushed to Danny's side and pulled him into a hug.

_"She's safe. The doctor is just giving her a quick once over to make sure she and the baby are okay." Jillian said excitedly._

"The baby?" Mary whispered heartbroken.

Jillian's words finally registered with Danny who stood for a moment dumbfounded. His eyes finally turned to Jillian, begging her to deny it.

Mary shook her head, trying to brush the memory aside. She walked over to the window and looked out over the parking lot and busy street below. A tear slid down her face when she recalled Danny chasing her across the Montecito parking garage, tears streaming from both of their faces.

The ringing of the phone shook her out of her thoughts and she crossed the room to the small desk in the corner.

----

_Welcome to Lake Tahoe_, the sign read. Danny's foot barely let off the gas even though the speed limit had dropped inside the city limits. He had memorized the directions Mike had printed off for him on the way here and felt he knew exactly where she would be.

Back at the studio Mary was getting ready to leave after teaching her ballet class to a group of seven year olds. The girls, mostly dressed in pink or purple leotards, their hair pulled up in various ways, entered her office. Circling around her they presented her with a small yellow cake decorated with purple flowers.

"Thank you, everyone!" Mary accepted the cake one little girl handed to her. The sweet child was brilliant and a typical 'pleaser'. Her personality reminded her so much of Mike. Mary hadn't really spoken to Mike since she left- he was too much of a reminder of Danny.

Danny watched the last little girl leave and gave her a small smile as she passed him in the hall. He went to the doorway, unable to speak around the lump that formed in his throat. Mary had her back to the door, looking at something on the short filing cabinet behind her desk. She was dressed in yoga pants and a layered tank top, her hair loosely piled on top of her head.

Mary felt goose bumps on her arms; she felt his presence before she ever heard him try to clear his throat. She turned and grabbed the back of the desk chair for support as she slowly met his gaze.

"Happy Birthday," he finally managed to say. The intensity of his gaze made it hard for Mary to speak.

"Thanks," she smiled and tried to keep the tears from forming.

"Mare…." Danny tried to find the right words, her smile encouraging him.

"Delinda called me," Mary offered.

"Were you expecting me?" Danny asked uncertainly.

"I was hoping…"

That was all he needed to hear and three long strides covered the distance between them. They were in each other's arms, kissing and hugging as he lifted her off the floor. After a few minutes Danny pulled away slightly, both hands on the sides of her face and he seemed to look straight through to her soul.

"I love you, Mary Connell."

"I love you Danny McCoy."

"I'm free, Mare." Danny brushed a lock of hair from her eyes. "We can be together."

Mary took a deep breath and stepped back slightly. She wiped the tears from her eyes and looked around for a tissue, wondering if his desire to be with her would last.

Danny noticed the subtle difference in her gait as she walked to the other side of the desk. Mary sucked in a little breath when his eyes traveled to her stomach. _He knew._

She wasn't showing yet and had told no one of the tiny life growing inside her, despite being in her fourth month. Mary closed her eyes tightly, terrified of what she might see in his.

"I was going to tell you…"

He immediately was at her side and placed his large hand across the slight swell of her belly. She placed her hand on top of his and let out a shaky breath. The feel of his warm hand on her abdomen was one of the most joyous moments of her life.

Danny dropped to his knees in front of her and slowly lifted up her shirt and placed a soft kiss just below her belly button. He leaned his forehead gently on her stomach placing both hands on Mary's hips. Mary couldn't stop the soft sobs that moved through her body, her hands instinctively moved to the back of his head. Running her hands through his hair she could feel him tremble as his hands tightened softly at their place on her hips.

She heard him take a few deep breaths before he lifted his gaze to meet hers. Tears streaked his cheeks and the look in his eyes was of pure love and devotion, making all her worries melt away. 

"We're having a baby." Danny said in a hoarse whisper, smiling in wonderment.

"Yes," Mary shook her head, smiling radiantly as Danny placed another soft kiss on her tummy before standing and taking her in his arms.

_2 years later…._

The older man looked at the picture of his wife, daughters, Danny, Mary, Mike and Sam, allowing himself to briefly lament over how the once tight group had all fallen apart. He had let his family fall apart and was determined to change everything, to make up for what had happened in the past.

Turning toward the satellite feed on the monitor he watched the couple closely. They were walking along the beach, a toddler hanging on to each of their hands, swinging in the sand. The little boy had his father's eyes and mothers smile. The three looked so happy as they moved along the waters edge and a smile lit up the old man's face.

"Excuse me, Mr. Deline." A voice came over the intercom. "Mrs. Deline, Delinda and your granddaughter will be arriving within the hour, sir."

Ed replied his thanks and turned his attention back to the monitor, pushing in as far as he could when something caught his eye.

"Hey, pops. What are you looking at?" The sleepy woman recognized the twinkle in the old man's eyes and was curious what had brought the rare smile to his face.

"Hi, sweetheart. How's the jet lag?"

"Better," the woman's British accent was heavier than he remembered. A hand flew to her mouth when she looked at the image Ed turned toward her. Tears formed in her eyes as she watched her close friends play on the beach with the sandy haired little boy.

"Look," Ed pointed to the screen. "It looks like there is going to be another little McCoy." Both eyes followed Mary as the wind blew her loose cotton shirt flush with her rounded belly. 

It had been long enough, he had decided. He was tired of the ache in his heart and he wasn't getting any younger. If he was going to repair what had happened and bring his family back together now was the time. Sam and Jeremy were almost as good as moved back to Vegas and Mike had returned a few weeks ago.

"I'll bring them back, Ness. I'll bring them all back. I promise." 


	3. Chapter 3

I will be posting a sequel to this story called Missing You. Look for it within the next day or so. It will pick up a week after Without You left off. Thanks for all who sent me reviews, they are appreciated!


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